Parenting is one of the most challenging, yet meaningful life tasks. Unfortunately, popular wisdom and misconceptions about how to raise responsible kids can lead to ineffective communication and power struggles Some parents use authoritarian parenting strategies that do not allow the child an independent voice or sense of efficacy. Other parents overcompensate with overly permissive parenting that doesn’t teach kids about limits and self-control. Research shows both extremes can interfere with kids’ ability to regulate emotions and form healthy relationships as adults. The best type of parenting is fair, flexible, respectful, and has learned, rather than submission as its goal. Hearing and respecting feelings, allowing choice, yet setting fair and clear limits on unacceptable behavior is the healthy balance that we should all strive for. This article will teach you how to avoid ineffective ways of communicating that lead to noncompliance and power struggles, or damage self-esteem. When it comes to talking to kids, there are some definite “dos” and “don’ts” to consider. To make parent-child communication a regular, easy, and effective experience in your home, avoid these common mistakes.
What you should avoid doing
1. Not giving your full attention
This is particularly important if you are discussing something important or serious and not simply catching up on your day. Turn off cell phones, TV, and other devices. Don’t talk to siblings at the same time, eliminate background noise, and find a quiet and peaceful place to talk.
2. Avoid, ignore and then unleash
We’ve all done it. Let something go that’s bothering us or push a problem aside because we have too much going on. The problem is that avoiding something can often make something worse. And because we parents are only human, we may blow up at a child in frustration. To avoid that unpleasant scenario, be sure to address a problem early when you are calm and collected and can discuss possible solutions in a thoughtful and pleasant manner.